“At least you have those beautiful girls to keep you going, to keep you happy” – what I heard many many times when I did not even see how I will pick up the pieces of my suddenly shattered life. I did not understand it, I did not think it was fair to say. And I would never say that to anyone in the same situation. Children should not be the reason to carry on. You need to be the reason! Children will make things harder at a time of a huge change. But might motivate you to keep things together a bit better. One thing for sure, at times when it is a bit easier with them you just have to take the joy with a huge spoon, be present with all your senses, enjoy those moments. Use them, as they use you. Refill. It took me a good while to learn this skill. But 2 years on I find more and more moments of joy with them.
Girls Night In July 22, 2012
The night officially starts at 9:30pm. That is when both girls are bathed and feed and ready for bed; or should be. It takes R another half an hour to fall asleep, and usually C likes to be awake and have some quality time with Daddy or me for a short while before starting her tummy troubles again. Then she falls asleep in my arms. So around 10pm all is quiet and we can watch a tv show (just a short one) before going to bed. Me to the bedroom, my H on the sofa in the living room. Around 1am C is up crying with pain which changes into demand for milk. I get up, warm a small amount of milk for the tummy drops; this needs to be set aside for at least 20 minutes while I am TRYING to keep the little one quiet, to not to wake the big one. Then I warm up the 100ml milk too and ready for a feed. We are ready with the feed and burping around 2am, 5 minutes pieces followed by half an hour painful winds before sleeping again. At 4:30ish she starts to wake up slowly with grunting and squeaking; I am totaly exhausted and thinking I should go to the kitchen now and do the drops because it will take awhile, but cannot get myself out of bed. At 5am I struggle and pull myself together and warm up the milk with the drops running back and forth to keep C quiet. The kitchen is right beside R’s room so I cannot have C with me as she would wake R easily. Leaving her in the bedroom is still the better option but she can get very loud if ignored, so I don’t ever want to take the chance. If R wakes up she will not go back to sleep. So 5:30am start the feed, 6:10am all is well. R wakes at 6:30am; that is when her day starts. Can someone tell me how am I suppose to do this all by myself? And this was actually a good night! Thankfully my H is around to help now, and takes R in the morning.
Happy Cloud – Baby Mobile June 1, 2012
All the rain lately made me think of another cute baby mobile I have seen on the net. So I decided to make one.
It took a good few hours as I sew every bit with hand, but enjoyed it a lot. I love to to see how some fabric or wool can come into life.
I have been making these things for our new arrival; but this time I felt bad that R has got nothing from me lately; well nothing I have made, so I changed my mind and gave it to her. (I am sure will feel this kind of guilt many times after we have our second daughter with us. ) It hangs on her ceiling lamp; and she really likes it, but tells me every time, she will give it to the little baby when she comes. 🙂
1. Cut two of all the shapes; clouds and raindrops. You can make it in different colours: blue cloud with gray and white drops….etc Depending on the look you want.
2. Sew drops. Leave a small opening on top and bottom to able to stuff it and to fit the string, which will hold the drops together.
3. Sew the strings to the bottom of the cloud, and sew the ribbon to the top part. Sew the two clouds together. Leave a small hole before sewing it all to stuff it , all nice and fluffy. Ready to hang.
It has been raining a lot here in the last couple of weeks. Roisin loves the rain. She stands outside on the balcony in full gear enjoying it. We watched the lighting and thunder the other evening together. It was great fun! I love it too!
We’ve used to go for walks and got soaked in the warm rain whenever we had a chance with my husband. I guess we should start doing that again in the summer.
Upcycled Bread Salad May 31, 2012
I don’t want to start a new category so I thought “My Craft” will just be fine for this.
I can say I don’t cook. I am one of the lucky ones who married someone who can cook well and enjoys it more than I do. But very occasionally I spend some time creating in the kitchen too. There are times I get an urge to have something I know can do well and love to eat it too. So this is what I made today; on a lovely early summer day: Bread salad! An upcycled food I love!
To start of , you need a wee bit stale bread. I can say we have that a lot here. I am linking one of the recipes here on this salad. http://www.care2.com/greenliving/tomato-bread-salad.html I don’t follow recipes well; I always make changes. I guess that applies to other areas of my life too 🙂
This time what I changed was, that also put garlic into the sauce. and cut up cucumbers to make it more colourful. I don’t understand the cup measurements (living in Europe) at all so don’t even bother with it; I just taste here and there. Also left the seeds in it too.
Advise: squeezing tomatoes are not so tricky; all you need to do while you squeeze, cover the bowl with 2 pieces of papertowel. Clean job!
Baby Mobile May 25, 2012
Now I am getting ready on many levels to have our next baby. One is the nesting. Though I have no hormone level changes to back me up on this, but already have the urge to make nice things for the baby’s new home. I am making a nice mobile from felt. While I’m working on it I can already feel connecting with this new little person. I know nothing about her yet, but that doesn’t seem to be a problem.
It is another easy, but a bit time-consuming craft.
Cut out many same size but different colour circles.
Cut out smaller circles or other shapes if you wish in different colours .
Sew the small circles on top of the bigger ones
Sew the two same colour same size big circles together. Before finishing it leave a tiny hole to fill it with soft stuffing to give it a nice body.
Thread them on string/thin ribbon and hang.
The Hungarian word for this actually would translate: waiting; waiting for a baby. Well we are expecting, waiting for this baby to arrive to us since 2006. That is when we signed up for adoption.
Few months before our wedding we’ve found out I suffer from a lifelong autoimmune disorder; which is life threatening but can be controlled and has to be controlled for the rest of my life. Antiphospholipid syndrome. One of it’s symptoms is miscarriage. So knowing that even with treatment it will not be an easy task to have a baby we came up with plan B. (I always like to have plan B, sometimes plan C too.) The waiting list was long; but we did not mind; as we were still trying to have a baby ourselves. After 4 unsuccessful pregnancies on treatment I took everything into my hands. Changed doctors, after doing long research made my own medical plan for the next pregnancy; took some great doctors on board and got fantastic help from an online support group. And we fell pregnant again; and had our baby girl in early 2010. (Well it wasn’t that easy; difficult pregnancy on many levels, not an easy birth and hard recovery with later complications) The exact year we were suppose to have our adopted baby.
So in the last nearly 2 and half years now we are having this fantastic little person in our home; who is everything we had imagined would be and even more. OK; we could do more sleep; but apart from that she is the BEST!
In the meanwhile our adoption papers were put on hold; as the first child has to be 2 years of age before we can adopt. And we moved house; so more paper work had to be done. But as of yesterday we are back on the waiting list as the first couple again.
I feel it will happen before the summer is over. We don’t know ahead of time; only when there is a baby in the hospital already. So there is no getting ready time at all. We’ll get a phone call and few days later we have baby at home.
So I have been preparing myself for this tiny thing to come into our home in the last few weeks. And I feel I am ready mentally and emotionally for her arrival. Our daughter, Roisin also is getting excited about a new baby, so I hope it will happen before she looses interest about the whole thing.
This is such a weird way of expecting. Not sure I can be ready like this for a long time. There will be times when my interest will drop a bit and will get back up again. I guess.
How I prepare ?
I make things for the baby; such as a baby mobile and a summer blanket.
I also washed the newborn clothes and packed them away nicely in a box.
I made a list of things we need to do when we get the call.
I ordered online basic baby stuff. Most of the things we have from Roisin though.
I go and spend time in baby shops looking at things to get into the mood.
My lovely friends have organized a baby shower too! Which was strange, as half of them are actually pregnant themselves. But you’ll never know; I may beat them with an early phone call next week :). They got us a beautiful cradle; which is beside our bed already. Now I will sew padded lining for it with a drape. Can’t wait to get started.
…..and I am listening out for the phone to ring 🙂