“At least you have those beautiful girls to keep you going, to keep you happy” – what I heard many many times when I did not even see how I will pick up the pieces of my suddenly shattered life. I did not understand it, I did not think it was fair to say. And I would never say that to anyone in the same situation. Children should not be the reason to carry on. You need to be the reason! Children will make things harder at a time of a huge change. But might motivate you to keep things together a bit better. One thing for sure, at times when it is a bit easier with them you just have to take the joy with a huge spoon, be present with all your senses, enjoy those moments. Use them, as they use you. Refill. It took me a good while to learn this skill. But 2 years on I find more and more moments of joy with them.